Monday, May 29, 2023

Here's What I've Learned About Raising Boys in My 30 Years as a Child Psychologist

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Here's What I've Learned About Raising Boys in My 30 Years as a Child Psychologist   

When my second son was born in the early '90s, I decided to make boys and their families my life's work. Between my role as the consulting psychologist at a school for boys outside Philadelphia; running a research center that conducts global studies focused on improving boys' education; maintaining a clinical practice specializing in helping boys and men; and raising my own sons, I have spent a great deal of time in the years since thinking about boys and the people who care for them. Whenever I speak to parents of boys, I begin with this assertion:

There's never been a better time to raise a son.

There is much evidence to support my optimism, but I'll mention just a couple of examples. Many younger men now tell researchers they care more about their mental health than their physical health. At the boys' school, one sign of this trend is how the emotional literacy program I lead for juniors and seniors now bursts at the seams, with all types of boys Division 1 football recruits, drama stars, academic nerds piling into the room, occupying each chair and every inch of floor space. Compared to the stoic and self-sacrificing generations before them, today's young men seek healthier, more flexible, and more meaningful lives. Even working-class men balk at mechanical jobs, holding out for more autonomous, nurturing roles. According to a 2021 Pew Research survey, millennial fathers see the value in caring for others and try harder to spend time with their children (even though women still shoulder the bulk of the load).

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